Sleeping in Separate Rooms From Your Partner: What Studies Show

Snoring, a restless sleeper, different alarms, or one person always too hot: plenty of couples end up in separate beds. Here is what the research says.

How common is it?

A 2023 online survey of 2,005 US adults asked how people adjust their sleep for a bed partner:¹

Adjustment	Share of adults
Sleep in another room sometimes	20%1
Sleep in another room every night	15%1
Go to bed earlier or later than they’d like	33%1
Use an eye mask / earplugs	18% / 15%1

Men were more likely than women to say they move rooms: 24% vs 15% sometimes, 21% vs 10% every night.¹

What sharing a bed does to sleep

A German sleep-lab study recorded young healthy couples sleeping together and apart:²

• Sharing a bed gave about 10% more REM (dream) sleep, in longer, less broken stretches.²
• It also meant more limb movements.²
• Other sleep stages didn’t change, and the couples’ sleep cycles lined up more when they shared a bed.²

So sharing has upsides, but this was a small lab study of young couples without sleep problems. It doesn’t tell you what’s best when one partner snores or kicks.

When the problem is snoring

In 10 couples where the husband was being tested for sleep apnea, both partners were monitored overnight. When his breathing was treated with CPAP halfway through the night, the wife’s sleep efficiency rose from 74% to 87%, which the authors estimated as about an hour more sleep a night.³

In a European survey of 1,546 partners of people using CPAP:⁴

• 71% said their own sleep improved.⁴
• 91% felt positive about the machine, and 64% reported no negative effect on intimacy.⁴
• 41% said their relationship satisfaction went up.⁴

Moving to another room can help both of you rest tonight, but if the reason is loud snoring with gasps or pauses, treatment may let you share a bed again. See why you snore and sleep apnea without snoring.

Making it work

1. Decide together and agree a trial period, rather than moving out after an argument.
2. Plan closeness on purpose: time together before sleep, weekend nights together, breakfast together.
3. Keep the health question open. Take what your partner noticed (snoring, gasping, kicking) to an appointment.
4. In a shared room, try separate blankets, an eye mask or earplugs. See white noise and earplugs.

Try: “My partner and I have started sleeping apart because of his snoring. He sometimes seems to stop breathing. Should he be tested for sleep apnea?”

Did I Do That in My Sleep? covers this in Chapter 11, “The Bedroom Treaty,” in a section called “Two Beds Can Be an Arrangement.” It treats separate rooms as a household choice made on purpose, with a trial week and a Sunday check-in, while the health question still goes to an appointment. See the book.